


Wasted time

by kihobebe



Series: Carve your name on my skin [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Tattoos, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 08:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16615721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihobebe/pseuds/kihobebe
Summary: “You have that look in your eyes, you know? Of someone whose lover isn’t giving back.”Hyungwon stared at Hyunwoo, his mouth agape while he tried to process what the man had just said.“He’s not my lover.”





	Wasted time

**Author's Note:**

> The power of showhyung made me write 4k in one sitting wow :D I hope everyone will be satisfied with these soft, soft boys :) This is the last (for now?) part of this series and it's hyungwon's happy ending!! If you want to read the other two fics, they give more light over kihyun and hyungwon's relationship. Hope you'll enjoy <3  
> (as always, pardon my mistakes)

_ It's just you and me now _

_ I don't know your secrets _

_ But I'll pick up the pieces _

_ Pull you close to me now  _

_ [Steve Aoki x BTS - Waste it on me] _

  
  


It was easy to spot a new face in the industry of modeling. If there was someone new, they usually were models or photographers, good looking people with an aura of power around them the first ones, normal looking people with a camera around their necks the others. 

Hyungwon was not always attuned to what happened around him during photoshoots, because he was used to take naps when the stylists did his make up or fixed his hair. Whenever he could, he would close his eyes to rest, leaving to others the task to make him look prettier. Which wasn’t that hard, because he was pretty to begin with. 

Anyway, he often fell short in spotting new faces, because he was used to people coming and going, never really focusing his attention on them. He tried to keep track of the fewer ones he worked closely with, like Kihyun and a couple of other models that were often in the same shoots as him. He recognized most of the stylists, or so he thought.

That day was rainy and gloomy, and Hyungwon felt the humidity seep in his bones when he left home to go to work. He knew he looked like shit, having slept so little because of hauntings thoughts and recurring nightmares, so he wore a mask on his face and went on his way. He was glad to have chosen the modeling career instead of the idol one, or he would have to put up with swarms of paparazzi at every hour. 

There was an appeal in standing in front of the camera, but only when he was properly dressed and he didn’t look like a zombie from an apocalyptic movie. 

Luck was on his side that day, because the photoshoot which was supposed to be outdoor was relocated inside, for them to avoid the too heavy rain. Hyungwon couldn’t help but feel relieved, because he despised cold weather a little bit, especially when he had to dress up in fancy clothes and walk around like the frost wasn’t biting his ears off. 

With little to no grace, he let himself fall in one of the chairs destined to him and his coworkers, crossing his legs and closing his eyes, waiting for the styling staff to find him and work their magic. 

He must have dozed off at some point, because when he opened his eyes again there was a man standing next to him, his eyes fixed on Hyungwon’s face and his mouth hanging open. Hyungwon was sure he was a new arrival, he had never seen that person around there before and he was sure he would have remembered his full lips and wide shoulders. He looked around Hyungwon’s age, maybe a little older, and he looked like he did some exercise in his spare time. Hyungwon’s eyes travelled down his toned arms before getting back up to his handsome face, dark and short hair at the top of it.

The man kept staring at him like if he was not sure of what he was supposed to say or do, and Hyungwon snapped.   
“Did I just grow two heads that you keep looking at me like that?” he asked, courtesy and social rules forgotten. He was grumpy, tired, and he was starting to feel hungry too. For a split second he regretted skipping breakfast that morning.

“W-what?” the other stammered out, his cheeks and ears flushing in what was probably embarrassment. 

“I asked you if I have two heads, and if that justifies you staring at me like that,” Hyungwon repeated, his words carrying a mocking undertone. The man’s blush became more evident, his face getting redder and redder by the minute. Hyungwon found it cute, that such a big, bear-looking man could look so adorable. 

“No, I’m sorry, I…”

“Just sit down and wait for the staff. Please don’t talk to me, I’m trying to nap,” Hyungwon interrupted, figuring that the man was new to modeling and he was just feeling out of place. Closing his eyes once again, he disregarded the other’s presence and tried to go back to his deserved beauty sleep.

“Actually…”

“What?” Hyungwon snapped his head in the man’s direction, his gaze ablaze with annoyance. The stranger seemed to have gotten over his embarrassment, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips when he answered: “I’m supposed to do your make up.”  
  
Guilt bubbled up in Hyungwon's throat for a second for having being so disrespectful towards someone who was just trying to do their job, but then he remembered that staring at him was not part of said job. He blinked a couple of times before shutting his eyes closed again.   
“Then do it,” he said, and waited for the man to start using his tools and work his magic. It had been easy to mistake him for a model, given the way he looked. Hyungwon felt stupid, but he was sure his slip was justified, and he refused to feel bad for being unapproachable at that hour in the morning. He was not a morning person, and he hated to talk to people before midday.

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” the man asked, but when he realized Hyungwon wasn’t going to give him any answers, he just sighed and got to work, positioning a stool beside Hyungwon’s chair and starting to apply primer to his face. 

“Your usual make up artist gave me all her products, so your skin is gonna be properly treated, don’t worry.”   
Hyungwon wasn’t worrying, he was just trying to rest. Silence was what followed the man’s words, Hyungwon’s stubborn refusal to speak up still standing.

“You have very pretty lips,” the man went on, applying lip balm on them. He didn’t really said it to Hyungwon, he just muttered it under his breath. Hyungwon felt a brush against his cheek when he started to put foundation on him.

“I’m Hyunwoo, by the way,” he said, his voice louder. One of Hyungwon’s eyes opened to fix on him.

“Hyungwon,” he replied, before silence once again enveloped them. Hyunwoo didn’t seem like a chatty man, and Hyungwon was glad of that. The soft touches he was using to apply make up on Hyungwon’s skin made the tall man relax, his breath evening out as sleep pulled him under. Hyunwoo started humming a tune, low and mellow, making it even harder to stay awake. Hyungwon let his brain shut down for a minute or two.

When he woke up, he realized Hyunwoo was trying to apply mascara on his lashes without making him open his eyes.

“You’re gonna make me blind,” he commented, his voice a low rumble laced with sleepiness. Hyunwoo laughed under his breath, taking Hyungwon’s face in his hand and guiding him to look up. He made sure his lashes were properly coated with mascara before letting him go.

“You’re all done,” Hyunwoo said, bowing before turning back on his heels and starting to walk away.

“Ha, Hyungwon-ssi. There’s something personal that I would like to discuss with you,” he started, and Hyungwon raised both his eyebrows at that.   
“Personal? We don’t even know each other,” Hyungwon pointed out, his nose curling up out of reflex. Hyunwoo smiled at him, calm and collected, his eyes disappearing in two moon-shaped curves.

“It’s just something that regards you personally, and I would like to talk about it in a less… open environment.”

Hyunwoo pointed his nose in the direction of a wardrobe assistant that was obviously listening to their conversation. The girl noticed his movement and blushed furiously, disappearing with hurried steps.

“Oh, ok. You can wait for me at the end of the photoshoot if you want. We can grab a coffee.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Hyunwoo bowed again, and then disappeared without a trace. 

 

*

 

Hyungwon lived for coffee. If it had been a sustainable way of living, he would have made coffee the only beverage entering his body at all times. He knew it was bad for his health though, so he restricted himself to drink one cup of it every day, never more. That day he made an exception, accepting the warm mug Hyunwoo was offering him and dumping some sugar in it before stirring it slowly. 

The other man took a seat in front of him, his eyes watching him attentively while Hyungwon took the first sip of the dark beverage and sighed, contented. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Hyungwon asked, never one for pleasantries. The silent presence of the other man made him uncomfortable, the need to fidget with the cup in his hands growing while the lull in conversation enveloped them. Hyungwon didn’t dare to raise his eyes, staying focused on his coffee and keeping his eyes low. 

“What was the frist  thing you said when we met this morning?” Hyunwoo asked at some point, and Hyungwon snapped his head up at the sudden noise, even if it wasn’t loud. The man sitting in front of him had an aura of calm and composure around him that made Hyungwon fidgety. He was used to Kihyun’s snappy attitude, he didn’t know how to act around Hyunwoo quiet mood. 

“I don’t remember? Something about you staring.”

“Did I just grow two heads that you keep looking at me like that?”

The shrug Hyungwon gave him was nonchalant, his eyebrows raising in questioning. 

“And so? I’m sorry, you were looking at me weirdly,” he hid his face into his mug, taking another sip of his coffee while he could still feel Hyunwoo eyes staring at him. He didn’t know why he felt so weird around the other man. Maybe it was the way Hyunwoo looked at him, like if he was trying to figure him out, or maybe it was the warmth he could read in his gaze. It was the same one Kihyun always had in his eyes when he talked about Minhyuk. 

Hyungwon chastised himself for thinking about Kihyun in that moment, his heart aching a little in his chest. They haven’t seen each other for a couple of days, and Hyungwon knew Kihyun was trying to sort things out with his soulmates, to make everything work. He wished him nothing but happiness, but it hurt anyway. He was wrecked by the feeling of being abandoned, of having lost the one person that truly cared about him. The one person he really loved, actually. When a tear fell down in his coffee, he realized that he had started crying.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccupped, hiding his face in his palms to not show Hyunwoo his stupid, useless mental breakdown. 

Instead of getting up and leaving like any sane person would do, Hyunwoo reached out his hand to pat Hyungwon’s head awkwardly. The snort that escaped Hyungwon’s lips was unintentional, but it elicited a giggle out of Hyunwoo, too. In his head, Hyungwon registered that Hyunwoo’s laugh was cute, and that he looked soft when he chuckled under his breath, his eyes squished and his lips stretched over his teeth. 

“I’m sorry, I… Have some problems, as you can see,” Hyungwon joked, taking the paper tissue Hyunwoo was offering him with a soft thanks. 

“It’s ok. Don’t worry about that, heartbreak is hard on everyone.”

Hyungwon squinted at him through his lashes, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“Sorry, what?” he asked, a tiny veil of anger lacing his words. Was everyone talking about him and Kihyun, already? Was that the reason Hyunwoo wanted to talk to him?

“You have that look in your eyes, you know? Of someone whose lover isn’t giving back.”

Hyungwon stared at Hyunwoo, his mouth agape while he tried to process what the man had just said. 

“He’s not my lover,” Hyungwon explained, but Hyunwoo shook his head like if he wanted to differ. Instead, he stayed silent, letting Hyungwon elaborate. 

“He’s… More giving than I deserve him to be. He’s not mine to miss, or mine to hold, or just mine at all.”

“He’s yours in some way, or you wouldn’t be like this,” Hyunwoo pointed out, his hand gesturing at Hyungwon’s general existence. Hyungwon couldn’t help but snort some more. 

“That’s not why we’re here, anyway. What were you about to say?”

“Oh, yeah. The words,” Hyunwoo cryptically answered, and started to roll the sleeve of his sweater up. Hyungwon gaped in horror as the fabric gave way to skin, and then to ink, his words glaring at him in black, their shape tattooed on Hyunwoo’s skin.

“What the fuck,” he whispered, watching the tattoo from afar, without having the courage to look more closely at it.

“It’s funny, you know. You’re not the first person that has said these words to me,” Hyunwoo told him, his voice as calm as the tranquil sea during a sunny, windless day. 

“I’m not your soulmate,” Hyungwon whispered, and Hyunwoo smiled, the corner of his lips turning up. Hyungwon couldn’t tear his eyes away from the words, despite feeling like the world had started rotating with a different spin altogether. He felt like suddenly he had no more safe land under his shoes.

“I don’t know about that. Don’t you think this is too much of a coincidence? Unless you have another soulmate, in that case I won’t bother you anymore. Was the person you were talking about your soulmate?” 

“He’s not. I don’t have a soulmate.”

Hyunwoo looked at him weirdly, his eyebrows knitted, his eyes showing concern for him. Hyungwon couldn’t understand him, couldn’t wrap his head around their whole exchange.

“Tell me about the other person,” he demanded, because Hyunwoo had talked about someone else. The other man’s smile faltered a little, but he nodded, making sure that Hyungwon was listening to him before talking.

“She was one of my high school friends, we met when we were fourteen. I had her words and she had mine. She died two years after in a car accident.”

Hyungwon grimaced, taking a sip of his by then cold coffee to hide his expression. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said right after, trying to sound sincere. He couldn’t even imagine what would mean finding one’s soulmate to lose them not long after, in tragic circumstances. He wanted to reach out and hold Hyunwoo’s hand, but it didn’t seem like the appropriate thing to do. 

“It’s been a long time ago, but thank you.”

“I don’t think that kind of scar could disappear easily.”

“You’re right, it doesn't. And what about you?”

There were no tragic backstories to Hyungwon’s absence of a soulmate, even if one could say his whole life was a tragic story. He had been born like that, no mark on his skin, no one’s company to look forward to.

“I don’t have anyone,” Hyungwon simply stated, toying with the spoon in his mug to move the last remnants of his coffee.

“Did you not meet them, still?” Hyunwoo gently asked, and Hyungwon couldn’t stop his lips from curling up in a bitter smile.

“I don’t have a tattoo.”   
Hyunwoo blinked a couple of times, maybe trying to wrap his head around the concept of a man without ink on his arms. It was a weird occurrence, Hyungwon knew that. A more than rare one, even more than having more than one soulmate. 

“That’s unusual,” Hyunwoo said, his expression unreadable. Hyungwon shrugged his shoulders, making it clear he didn’t mind being alone in the world. He had Kihyun anyway, right? He was not alone, not anymore. Why did he felt like that, though? Like the world was once again being unfair with him, dangling something unreachable right under his nose?

“I’m fine on my own.”

“Are you?” Hyunwoo asked, curiosity coloring his words. Hyungwon just nodded, finishing his coffee before fishing some money from his pockets and handing it to Hyunwoo.

“I’m fine, really. I’m sorry for your soulmate but I don’t think I can help you.”

“It’s ok, and there’s no need for that money. It’s on me, I bothered you with my problems.”

“It was not a bother,” Hyungwon told him sincerely, shaking his head in denial, “It was nice chatting with you. You seem like a good man, I hope you can find your happiness.”

 

*

 

When Kihyun discovered the whole ordeal, he almost screamed at Hyungwon in the middle of a photoshoot. It seemed like Hyunwoo had gotten quite chatty with the photographer once he learned he was the one Hyungwon was pining for, revealing that he had Hyungwon’s words tattooed on his skin. Kihyun almost lost his mind.  
  
“Hyungwon, what the fuck?!” he exclaimed as soon as their work together ended, taking him by his arm and guiding him towards his office in hurried steps. Hyungwon huffed, pouting a little and hoping that would lessen Kihyun’s saltiness.

“Don’t try to get out of this with puppy eyes, you little shit. Why didn’t you give the man a chance, at least?” 

“I don’t care. It’s just a stupid coincidence.”

“Is it?” Kihyun asked, closing the door of his office behind them and pushing Hyungwon against it with more force than strictly necessary. He kept him pinned there with his hands on Hyungwon’s shoulders and his stern glare.

“I dunno, Ki, it’s just that I don’t feel like dipping my toes in this shit. It looks fucked up.”

“Does it? More than you living the rest of your life alone?” Kihyun growled, his voice strained with barely contained anger. Hyungwon flinched, and Kihyun immediately reached out to take his face in his palms.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”   
“It’s not your fault,” Hyungwon sniffled, feeling tears prickle at his eyes, ready to fall down his cheeks. The way Kihyun swiped his thumb over his cheekbone made Hyungwon close his eyes and enjoy the warmth of his touch, the softness and care he put in it. He wasn’t alone, Hyungwon thought, he always had Kihyun. But Kihyun wasn’t his in any way that mattered. He was his friend, and he cared. He loved him, just not in the right way. Before he could speak up, Kihyun started talking.

“I’ve been an awful friend today. Sorry.”

“You’ve not,” Hyungwon whispered, his eyes still closed. Kihyun kept his hands on Hyungwon’s face, gently stroking his skin with his fingers.

“Yes, I have. I just want you to be happy, you know that, right?”

Hyungwon nodded, finally looking at Kihyun through his tear-laced lashes. Kihyun offered him a smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

“Are things ok with your boyfriends?” Hyungwon suddenly asked, and Kihyun laughed a little, shaking his head.

“Stop trying to avoid the topic. You should give Hyunwoo a chance.”

“I don’t know, Ki. It’s weird. He has that tattoo, but it’s not mine.”

“And what if it was?”

“It isn’t. There was a girl before me, and now there isn’t anymore. It doesn’t make that tattoo more mine.”   
“And what if Hyunwoo wanted it to be yours?”

The question surprised Hyungwon, his breath getting stuck in his throat when he tried to answer. 

“Don’t you think you’ve wasted enough time trying to avoid being loved?” Kihyun asked, softness seeping into his voice. 

“I’m scared,” he pathetically whimpered, letting Kihyun hug him to his chest, trying to get closer by clutching at the shorter man’s shirt. He hid his face in Kihyun’s neck, pressing his nose there and letting his familiar scent fill his nostrils. 

“It’s ok. I know. But you can try and being happy despite being scared,” Kihyun whispered in his ear, caressing his hair slowly. Hyungwon promised that he would at least try, and let Kihyun take care of him like he had always done.

 

*

 

Hyungwon liked the way Hyunwoo smiled, his teeth showing and his eyes disappearing completely from view. He liked how Hyunwoo seemed to know when Hyungwon needed words, and when instead he preferred to be surrounded by silence. The sound of Hyunwoo’s laugh was something he got used to, and which he enjoyed hearing at all times of the day, when it was just a short guffaw or when it extended for longer, making him breathless. Hyunwoo's body was a territory he liked to map and explore, taking his time to worship every bit of tanned skin he could put his lips and hands upon.

There were things he didn’t like about Hyunwoo, but they were so few Hyungwon could forget about them when he layed in bed next to him, one of his strong arms thrown over Hyungwon’s middle while he softly snored. 

“You’re staring again,” Hyunwoo reprimanded him that day, pointing out the obvious when he opened his eyes to find Hyungwon with his gaze fixed on him.

“I know. I like staring, I’m trying to remember your face forever.”

“You said you didn’t believe in that,” Hyunwoo pointed out, his arms reaching out to tug Hyungwon until the taller man was laying on top of him, his chin resting over Hyunwoo’s sternum.

“I don’t, it’s just a meaningless word.”

“Forever? It sounds good to me, if I get to spend it with you,” Hyunwoo countered, and Hyungwon could feel his cheeks flushing bright red, blood rushing to his head in an instant, making it spin. He still couldn’t believe his luck, still couldn’t understand how everything clicked into place when all of his hopes were long lost. He watched as Hyunwoo blinked, quietly staring back at him.   
  
“You’re so handsome,” he said, and Hyungwon flushed some more, reaching up to kiss Hyunwoo on his lips and shut him up. He sucked his bottom lips into his mouth, enjoying the way Hyunwoo whimpered and asked for more, opening up his mouth to let Hyungwon explore it with his tongue.

“You’re handsome one,” Hyungwon pointed out mid kiss, “I thought you were one of the models when we first met.”   
Hyunwoo’s laugh ringed in Hyungwon’s ears like melody, its lull bringing peace to Hyungwon’s heart. If he could, he would sit in bed all day for the rest of his life listening to Hyunwoo’s voice, speaking to him and giggling with him.

“I know that, and you were not kind with me,” he pointed out, “Were you scared of me stealing your job?”

Hyungwon scoffed, sitting up in Hyunwoo’s lap and flicking a finger at his forehead. His boyfriend didn’t even flinch, but took hold of his wrists in his hands and smiled warmly at him. 

“Scared of you? You have the grace of a bear,” Hyungwon pointed out, and it stole another chuckle out of Hyunwoo’s chest, making Hyungwon shake with the force of it. 

“You’ve never seen me dance.”

“I’m not sure I want to witness that,” Hyungwon stated, but he was grinning as big as Hyunwoo.

“Yah, I’m a great dancer!” Hyunwoo shoved his boyfriend to the side and almost made him fly off the bed. He reached for him before he could actually fall down. 

“I always forget you’re made of paper.”

“Shut up,” Hyungwon said, kissing the corner of Hyunwoo’s lips and then wrapping himself around him like some sort of ivy. 

“Why are we awake at this hour, anyway?” Hyunwoo asked, letting Hyungwon worm his way between his arms and tugging him closer to his body, humming when Hyungwon hir his face against his collarbone and left a peck there.

“Because you promised me breakfast for lunch and it’s almost two in the afternoon,” Hyungwon pointed out, but he felt like sleep was trying to drag him under again, its sweet hands slowly bringing him towards colorful dreams. He felt, more than heard, Hyunwoo’s answer, a low rumble against his cheek.

“I think we can do breakfast for dinner,” he said, and Hyungwon had just the strength to nod his head once, his eyes already glued together and his brain shutting down.

“I love you,” Hyunwoo whispered between his hair, and even if Hyungwon didn’t have enough voice to say it back in that moment, he knew he had more than enough time ahead of him to do so. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> As usual, you can come scream at me on [tumblr](http://kihobebe.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/kihoxbebe/) or [curios cat](https://curiouscat.me/kihoxbebe) :3


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